Paul's introspective ramblings

On August 14 2020 at 12:05AM my soul was permanently fractured. At that moment Christian transitioned to heaven.

I am posting this from the exact location (bed & position) I wrote Christian my final THANK YOU. ….a closing passage to a love story I was hoping would never end. …a passage repeated softly in her ear(s), through exhaustion, drowsiness and streams of tears because I refused to miss a single moment of possible lucidity. I lost count after 500…

Words cannot express how much I miss you Christian. I would re-bear the burden of the last 8 years a hundredfold if it means being able to hold you for one more minute. I push forward every day because I know you would want nothing less.

A huge thanks to everyone that helped with logistics and execution! This event would not have been possible without the attention to detail and focus that you all brought ! You delivered on every one of Christian’s wishes and I know she was proud of the result !!

@Mel @Marlo @Joy @Kristi @Evelyn @Yumi @Raya @Anne @Pedro @Christophe

** Originally published August 13th 5:18AM **

To my LOVE of 21 years, 7 months and 27 days

As I lay next to you holding your hand, capturing your beautiful scent and listening to your breath I can only think of one important thing to tell you – THANK YOU, Christian, for everything. 

Thank you for giving this introverted boy a chance on Dec 11. Thank you for casting your light in a way that has allowed me to see true beauty in a world I was otherwise imperceptive to. Thank you for trusting me as a partner, friend, lover, husband and caregiver. Your strength gave me strength. Your love pushed us forward and energized me on our most challenging days. Because of you, I could overcome any mountain. I would do anything to see a smile on your angelic face. A single embrace from you could energize me for months and has. Nothing was impossible with you at my side.

Your light & energy will never diminish. You will never be forgotten. I will think of you every minute of my life until the day God chooses to bring us together again. We will be together again.

Rest now my love as I know you are tired. I am so proud of you Christian. Loving you is the greatest honor of my life.

Love always,

Paul

** Originally published July 24 2017 10:02PM **

…..it’s Day +10 and Christian is officially cleared for discharge.  We are going home.

We arrived on pins and needles not quite sure about what Immunotherapy would have in store for Christian but leave confident knowing that Christian has received the best treatment & care possible from a world class Clinical Center.

I will never be able to describe in words the professionalism, conviction and compassion demonstrated by Christian’s care team every single day and with every single patient.  I am humbled by each and everyone of these living saints. 

Christian will be immunosuppressed for quite some time and will be back again in ~ 30 days for a short(er) round of apheresis and re-baseline scans.

We are excited about the future……. 💕